14/10: Bella has arrived!
Category: Tina's Blog
Posted by: tinabensman
15 days past due, Bella Soleil Bensman has finally arrived! She was born on October 8th, 2009 at 6:27am. She was 7lbs, 12oz and 18in long. So far she's a perfect baby in every way.
Category: Tina's Blog
Posted by: tinabensman
My first and only psychic reading was a fabulous experience which quickly turned into the reason I unknowingly destroyed my first long-term relationship!
It was the summer. I had just left the first of two universities I attended because I was being physically and emotionally abused by my roommate. My love life was non-existent, and I was sure that I would never have a romantic relationship that would last more than a month. My best friends all lived in different states, and I hadn't found true friendships locally in years. I felt scared and lost, so I decided to take the summer off and go on a road trip across the United States for 3 months. I was in a period of self discovery and wanted to explore the country while figuring out who I was without all my normal distractions. While the adventures of this trip are saved for another blog posting, one piece I will discuss is a wonderful psychic reading I had in Arizona.
I met up with a friend from college, Deena, in Arizona. She told me about a psychic she saw named Jan. Deena's parents received a reading from her 25 years ago where she told them that he would have 5 kids and she would have 2 kids. Seeing as though Deena's parents were newlyweds, this news seemed odd to them. But sure enough, they had 2 kids together - got divorced - the father later remarried and had 3 more.
Deena recently had a reading. Jan told her that she would meet the man she was going to marry. His name would start with the letter 'B' and other specific details about his job, personality, etc. Shortly after, Deena met Brandon on an airplane. He was everything Jan described and more! They began dating and had developed into a long-term relationship by the time she told me this story.
"Get me an appointment!!" I pressured my friend seeing as though I would only be in Arizona for a few more days. I was desperate to find out my future since my life had seemed like it was going nowhere.
Through very serendipitous events I actually got an appointment for the same day I called. Usually there is at least a months wait. I went in and met the fabulous Jan. I sat down at a small table as she shuffled a regular deck of cards. She asked me to think of a wish, and somewhere in the reading it would be clear if I would get my wish or not. I wished that I would be happy. I know it seems simple, but I was really unhappy at this point in my life.
She laid out the cards and right away she said, "Wow! I hope you wished for something good because the wish card was the first one out, and it's definitely coming true!" Wow! I was glowing. Tears ran down my cheeks. I was so happy that she told me I would be happy!
The reading lasted 30 minutes and was unbelievable. All the fears I had about love and life purpose were eased. Amongst a lot of tips, here's what ruined my next year:
"There will be 3 men vying for your love and attention. One you already know. You dated him before and he's going to come back begging for your forgiveness."
Sweet! I knew who she was talking about and I wasn't so sure I was gonna forgive him!
"The next guy will be younger than you, brown hair, brown eyes and funny."
Ok, this is good! I usually am attracted to blue eyes - but okay!
"The last guy, you will meet at a place where there is music. He is older and in the medical profession. He will be dancing and spots you across the room. He says, "Can I join you at your table?"
Okay. Kind of cheesy, but a potential doctor...alright!
"It is up to you to decide which of these men you will marry, but it will be very clear to you. One will stand out. You will be very wealthy and you will always stay married."
Ah! Wow! My biggest fear of divorce isn't going to happen to me. I MUST MEET THIS MAN!
Then she hit me with the last bit of knowledge.
"You will be married within the year."
What?!? I don't even know who this guy is and we're getting married in a year. It takes a year to plan a wedding. How is this possible? I better get right on this!
Time passes and I return from my road trip refreshed and ready to meet my dream man. I began frequently night clubs to try and make myself available for man-option #3. Meanwhile man-option #1 was already coming through. I received an email from an ex "kind of" boyfriend apologizing for his evil ways. He wasn't the one I expected, but I definitely deserved an apology from him too. I got really excited about the possibility of maybe marrying him, but we didn't live in the same state so it seemed hopeless.
Soon after, I started another semester at my new college in Chicago. I ended up meeting a guy in one of my film classes who was super hot! He expressed interest in me so I sized him up. He had brown hair and brown eyes. I guess he could be funny, but I didn't know if he was younger than me. We went out to dinner and I slyly asked him when his birthday was. Jackpot!! He was 3 months younger than me. I had found man-option #2!
We started dating and it was clearly the best relationship I had ever been in at the time, but time was ticking away. I was supposed to be married within the year and it was already half over. I felt a lot of pressure to move this relationship to the next level. I hinted at moving in - he didn't get it. I asked him a lot of life goal questions - he didn't answer them. Nothing seemed to get him moving towards marriage in 6 months. In the meantime, I started noticing his dependency on alcohol and a possible drug addiction that he kept hidden from everyone. I got really scared because on the surface he was perfect - every girls dream. But on the inside, he was a mess. I remembered that the psychic didn't say, "You will always be happy," but she instead said, "You'll always stay married." Ahhh! I'm going to be stuck with a mess of a man!
Now, mind you - I didn't know if he had an addiction, but I was determined to fix it before our wedding. I was so scared that if I didn't make this relationship perfect for me, then nothing the psychic said would come true. I felt that I would have missed my chance and later divorce at least 3 times like I was always afraid of. I needed to make this work!!! I literally became crazy and nit-picked anything that I didn't like about our relationship immediately. Normally, all these feelings come out gradually as the relationships develop, but I didn't have much time here.
After 6 months of dating, I asked him if he was happy. I never expected him to say 'no.' He rarely talked about his feelings. We decided to take a break from each other and later broke it off.
I was so scared of divorce that I tried to force a failing relationship into marriage - now how does that make sense?
Jan was a brilliant psychic, but the reading didn't play out because I changed the way I acted. In a normal relationship I would have never felt that intense pressure of making it perfect right away. My energy around relationships shifted and I became a different person. Jan didn't give a psychic reading to that person. She read the person I was when I saw her. Click here to learn more about reading energy!
I completely ruined that relationship. And to tell you the truth - I'm glad. I wouldn't want to stay married to him forever. We weren't right for each other. I'm engaged to be married in July 2008 to a wonderful guy that I met entirely on my own. I hope we never get divorced, but I know if we do it will be for a good reason!
Oh, in case you were wondering....I never did meet man-option #3. I stopped looking for him when I started dating #2. I've always wondered about him....hmmmm.....
My Mental State
It was the summer. I had just left the first of two universities I attended because I was being physically and emotionally abused by my roommate. My love life was non-existent, and I was sure that I would never have a romantic relationship that would last more than a month. My best friends all lived in different states, and I hadn't found true friendships locally in years. I felt scared and lost, so I decided to take the summer off and go on a road trip across the United States for 3 months. I was in a period of self discovery and wanted to explore the country while figuring out who I was without all my normal distractions. While the adventures of this trip are saved for another blog posting, one piece I will discuss is a wonderful psychic reading I had in Arizona.
A Psychic Named Jan
I met up with a friend from college, Deena, in Arizona. She told me about a psychic she saw named Jan. Deena's parents received a reading from her 25 years ago where she told them that he would have 5 kids and she would have 2 kids. Seeing as though Deena's parents were newlyweds, this news seemed odd to them. But sure enough, they had 2 kids together - got divorced - the father later remarried and had 3 more.
Deena recently had a reading. Jan told her that she would meet the man she was going to marry. His name would start with the letter 'B' and other specific details about his job, personality, etc. Shortly after, Deena met Brandon on an airplane. He was everything Jan described and more! They began dating and had developed into a long-term relationship by the time she told me this story.
"Get me an appointment!!" I pressured my friend seeing as though I would only be in Arizona for a few more days. I was desperate to find out my future since my life had seemed like it was going nowhere.
The Reading
Through very serendipitous events I actually got an appointment for the same day I called. Usually there is at least a months wait. I went in and met the fabulous Jan. I sat down at a small table as she shuffled a regular deck of cards. She asked me to think of a wish, and somewhere in the reading it would be clear if I would get my wish or not. I wished that I would be happy. I know it seems simple, but I was really unhappy at this point in my life.
She laid out the cards and right away she said, "Wow! I hope you wished for something good because the wish card was the first one out, and it's definitely coming true!" Wow! I was glowing. Tears ran down my cheeks. I was so happy that she told me I would be happy!
The reading lasted 30 minutes and was unbelievable. All the fears I had about love and life purpose were eased. Amongst a lot of tips, here's what ruined my next year:
"There will be 3 men vying for your love and attention. One you already know. You dated him before and he's going to come back begging for your forgiveness."
Sweet! I knew who she was talking about and I wasn't so sure I was gonna forgive him!
"The next guy will be younger than you, brown hair, brown eyes and funny."
Ok, this is good! I usually am attracted to blue eyes - but okay!
"The last guy, you will meet at a place where there is music. He is older and in the medical profession. He will be dancing and spots you across the room. He says, "Can I join you at your table?"
Okay. Kind of cheesy, but a potential doctor...alright!
"It is up to you to decide which of these men you will marry, but it will be very clear to you. One will stand out. You will be very wealthy and you will always stay married."
Ah! Wow! My biggest fear of divorce isn't going to happen to me. I MUST MEET THIS MAN!
Then she hit me with the last bit of knowledge.
"You will be married within the year."
What?!? I don't even know who this guy is and we're getting married in a year. It takes a year to plan a wedding. How is this possible? I better get right on this!
The Man Search
Time passes and I return from my road trip refreshed and ready to meet my dream man. I began frequently night clubs to try and make myself available for man-option #3. Meanwhile man-option #1 was already coming through. I received an email from an ex "kind of" boyfriend apologizing for his evil ways. He wasn't the one I expected, but I definitely deserved an apology from him too. I got really excited about the possibility of maybe marrying him, but we didn't live in the same state so it seemed hopeless.
Soon after, I started another semester at my new college in Chicago. I ended up meeting a guy in one of my film classes who was super hot! He expressed interest in me so I sized him up. He had brown hair and brown eyes. I guess he could be funny, but I didn't know if he was younger than me. We went out to dinner and I slyly asked him when his birthday was. Jackpot!! He was 3 months younger than me. I had found man-option #2!
The Doomed Relationship
We started dating and it was clearly the best relationship I had ever been in at the time, but time was ticking away. I was supposed to be married within the year and it was already half over. I felt a lot of pressure to move this relationship to the next level. I hinted at moving in - he didn't get it. I asked him a lot of life goal questions - he didn't answer them. Nothing seemed to get him moving towards marriage in 6 months. In the meantime, I started noticing his dependency on alcohol and a possible drug addiction that he kept hidden from everyone. I got really scared because on the surface he was perfect - every girls dream. But on the inside, he was a mess. I remembered that the psychic didn't say, "You will always be happy," but she instead said, "You'll always stay married." Ahhh! I'm going to be stuck with a mess of a man!
Now, mind you - I didn't know if he had an addiction, but I was determined to fix it before our wedding. I was so scared that if I didn't make this relationship perfect for me, then nothing the psychic said would come true. I felt that I would have missed my chance and later divorce at least 3 times like I was always afraid of. I needed to make this work!!! I literally became crazy and nit-picked anything that I didn't like about our relationship immediately. Normally, all these feelings come out gradually as the relationships develop, but I didn't have much time here.
After 6 months of dating, I asked him if he was happy. I never expected him to say 'no.' He rarely talked about his feelings. We decided to take a break from each other and later broke it off.
I was so scared of divorce that I tried to force a failing relationship into marriage - now how does that make sense?
Why the Psychic Reading Wasn't Accurate
Jan was a brilliant psychic, but the reading didn't play out because I changed the way I acted. In a normal relationship I would have never felt that intense pressure of making it perfect right away. My energy around relationships shifted and I became a different person. Jan didn't give a psychic reading to that person. She read the person I was when I saw her. Click here to learn more about reading energy!
I completely ruined that relationship. And to tell you the truth - I'm glad. I wouldn't want to stay married to him forever. We weren't right for each other. I'm engaged to be married in July 2008 to a wonderful guy that I met entirely on my own. I hope we never get divorced, but I know if we do it will be for a good reason!
Oh, in case you were wondering....I never did meet man-option #3. I stopped looking for him when I started dating #2. I've always wondered about him....hmmmm.....
26/08: Introducing Tina Bensman
Category: Tina's Blog
Posted by: tinabensman
Well, it's official...I'm married! David and I tied the knot on July 5th, 2008, and yes - I did change my last name. I'm not really sure why I decided to do it. I never thought I was the type to go that route...I mean, I've been "Tina Ruffolo, rhymes with buffalo" my whole life. Why change my identity just because of the strange, society rules. David and I even laughed about combining our last names and becoming "Ruffman" or "Bensolo," but something happened as our wedding date got closer. I don't know what it was, but it just felt right. It's a strange, but meaningful way to honor the one you love. I don't know how else to explain it.
So now I'm a Bensman. Hmmm...Tina Bensman, rhymes with hens-pen....I'll have to think about this one more!
So now I'm a Bensman. Hmmm...Tina Bensman, rhymes with hens-pen....I'll have to think about this one more!